Why?

Sent: Sunday, June 16, 2019 9:08:33 PM
 

Justin,

Thank you so much for the kind letter ! It warmed my heart . I can actually relate to it many ways . God is always on time, and can open any door ! All we need to do is "BE STILL" . I have decided these days to just follow his plans and not my own . I too can relate to depression . I will tell you a little about my family . In 2017 we found out we were expecting our third child , we were so happy . Unfortunately we found out at 20 weeks into the pregnancy that our son Judah was terminally ill and would pass away before birth or right after birth . I was recommended to abort him . I decided to carry him anyway to allow him to pass with us and we hoped to be able to donate his organs to help another family . Judah was born on December 14 ,2017 and lived one hour . I was able to hold him and he was able to pass away in my arms . I was so angry at God for taking my boy and I was so angry for him allowing me to suffer for months carrying him knowing he would be ripped from my arms . All I could say is why me ? What did I do wrong ? I go to church , I try to do what is right and this is what I deserve ? I planned a funeral before a birth and all this was at Christmas . I almost lost my faith . After coming home It was hard to be in that house , the home that had Judah's room and had all his things , It was hard to go out into public . I remember I went through the bank drive through and the women all freaked out asking to see the baby . I had to lie and say he was home " technically he was at his heavenly home ". I didn't want them to feel bad for asking me , they didn't know he had passed . I wanted to protect others from them feeling uncomfortable or feeling sorry for me . It really isolated me and I felt like I was so alone . Depression slipped in and tried to take over .

About 3 weeks after Judah passed away I posted his baby bed and all his baby items on a FB yard sale site . I was sitting in his room that I turned into a office working on my work FB page when I received a PM from a complete stranger . She said , I have been watching your FB posts and I noticed that you said you would like to adopt a child one day . She said I have a friend who is pregnant and she is going to abort the baby . She was pregnant by someone that was not her husband . She then asked if her friend could call me . I told her yes , but honestly thought she was a scammer . The lady called me that same day and we talked on the phone for two hours . She then told me that she would love for us to adopt her baby if we would be interested . I couldn't believe this could possibly be real , but after meeting her in person , going to Dr. visits and being there for our daughter Harlow's birth I can say I have witnessed God's work . Every time I look at my daughter it is a true miracle from God . See if it wasn't for Judah I would have been to scared to adopt . Sometimes Gods path doesn't make sense , especially at the time ! Sometimes its not easy , but he doesn't promise a easy path . He promises a perfect path for those who choose to trust him . I am thankful for my path , although it was bumpy ,and although it was painful and confusing . All you and your family need to do is just "BE STILL" . You are completely right ! Family and Time with the ones we love are what's important ! I know this letter may be a little much , but I wanted you to know that you are not alone in having to deal with these issues . The Sunshine State is a blessing and I pray that it brings big blessings to you and your family ! I am so happy for y'all and I can't wait for you to enjoy all South Walton has to offer . We will do everything we can to help makes this as easy as possible 😊 You have a fantastic Realtor and we are all here to help ! SOOOOO Happy for your family !

Welcome to the Salt Life !

Jessica Hamlet