Thank God for Our Wives and Lives

Sent: Sun, Jun 16, 2019 at 12:14 PM

Dear Jessica and Steven,

There's no way to explain away the amazing things we have been witnessing in the past week and half. If you don't believe in God now maybe this you will and if you do believe, I hope . I apologize if this letter is a bit disorganized, I’m going to let write it as a stream of conscious.

My wife and I (and our children) have been visiting Florida a couple of times a year the past 3 years. One thing about where we are coming from, Wisconsin, is that the winters can be long and dark. Other than that we love our community (Onalaska, WI). The schools are good, the community is supportive, businesses invest back into the community, etc. We both have great employers. She’s a teacher at the Onalaska High School and I work for a small software company. Seriously, other than the winters and the affects they have on me, we love it there and are going to miss all the amazing and great people in our daily lives.

So yeah, Mandy and I have been talking about moving to the beach (Florida) and how we’d swing it with my job, not sure if my company would be open and willing to let me work remote. OUR plans were that after a project that I’ve working on at work got wrapped up (Original target delivery date was June 22^nd but that isn’t going to happen, end of July is more likely and still it might bleed into August) we would re-evaluate my job situation and possibly look to apply to some companies that allow and offer remote positions. If I was able to swing that then in a year, being remote, it’d be easier to make a move as we wouldn’t have to mange relocating our family and transitioning my employment.

Well, HIS ways are better than our ways. His plans are greater than our plans. A couple months ago Mandy hopped back onto Facebook after the suggestion of a former AP Psych teacher recommended joining and following an AP Psych group. Mandy hadn’t been on Facebook for a couple of years prior to joining just to belong to that group. Less than 2 weeks ago someone posted to the group saying “I’ve been promoted to administration. My AP Psych position is available. Does anyone want to teach on the beach?” Mandy told me about the position and mentioned she thought she should apply just to see what happens. I encouraged her to apply however at the time my (selfish) dreams and plans had no real intention of moving.

A week and half ago on Friday did indeed apply for the position, just before we were heading out of town for a weekend family vacation. I told her I knew she would be offered the position. At this time I put the likelihood of us at moving at less than 1%. We prayed over the matter over the weekend. Praying that we would shed our selfish desires and wants and that we would submit to His will and His desires and plans for us. We had an amazing weekend family vacation in Philadephia (if you’ve never been I highly recommend you go, we’d be glad to share we did. We’re hoping and planning to visit again). We got back home Monday evening. During the day Monday Mandy was get messages from her reference that they were being contacted. The school reached out and scheduled a phone interview for Tuesday. On Tuesday Mandy had a phone “interview”. “Interview” because it wasn’t so much about her convincing them why they should hire her but rather them trying to convince her why we should move her and that they wanted to have the position filled by Thursday. Mandy told me the principal was supposed to call on Wednesday for a phone interview and it sounded like she would be asking her to commit to accepting the job at that time. At some point she asked if we could wait to make a decision after visiting the area. Knowing there was a slim chance that we might actually move I posted to Facebook asking for prayers regarding a life changing decision that Mandy and I may be making in the coming days. Several of my coworkers saw the post and one of my closet coworkers and confidant “scolded” me for making the post Wednesday morning. I completely understand what he was saying and where he was coming from. About two years ago it was well known in the company that I was looking for other employment. Needless to say my post concerned many coworkers. I quickly confided in my dear friend what it was about and that I was not looking to leave. In fact, the opposite. I then confided even more (which I’ll share a bit further below). I told him I was also going to share everything with our mutual boss, a co-president of our company, immediately after we concluded our conversation.

I went into my boss’ office for our weekly one on one. We discussed our typical things, priorities, barriers, and needs. Afterward I informed him of us possibly moving due to an opportunity that was available for Mandy. I told him while we were talking I gave it a 5% chance of happening. As I was getting up and leaving his office I received a text message from Mandy. Little did I know that while I was talking to my boss, Mandy was also talking them and they were willing to wait for a decision if we were able to visit this weekend. As I was walking out of my boss’ office I pulled out my phone, read the message and muttered “Oh no. Not the message I wanted to get.” I read the message out loud: “We need to go there this weekend.” At that point I realized this was now a 50:50 thing. I went back to my desk and prayed again. I had received an email the day prior from the Onalaska HR Director. You see the week before, our Mayor nominated me to the Police and Fire Commission as someone else had to leave their position due to circumstances. This Commission has a huge job ahead of them as they are beginning to interview next week for our next Police Chief. After my short prayer I realized how selfish I was being, that I had my dreams and hopes. That I would serve on the PFC, and eventually possibly run for mayor, we both had hopes of getting a Chik-fil-a in our town (the closet one is an hour away). We had gone to an operator (owner) meeting a few years ago. We have both applied in the past. Our city wasn’t in their plans for expansion yet. This wasn’t a bad thing. We learned HQ looks for people with community involvement and so this afforded us the time and opportunity serve of community boards. Anyways, it was at this moment the following thought came to my mind “I need to lay down my life for my wife, my bride, just as Jesus did for his bride, the church.” Immediately after I got home after work my wife and I spoke about getting accommodations in place for the weekend. WE booked flights, hotels, and a car. I wasn’t originally going to look at buying a house. However that changed. I saw a listing online and was thinking about reaching out to the listing agent directly. I use to work for a Coldwell Banker broker here in our area so I reached out to my old office asked them if they would contact the listing agent and a referral knowing they would get some credit for the sale volume should we purchase from her. However I noticed she was conducting an open house and she wouldn’t be able to show us other places. So I asked for a referral to another agent. God works in amazing and mysterious ways. They referred me to Michael. A blessing and answered prayer in disguise. Michael has been fabulous beyond measure.

These things are only a few of the crazy things to have and be happening. There are so many other little side stories and signs I’d love to share with you. But that will have to wait for another time.

This is further below… this past Winter was the worst, THE WORST winter of my life. I would be diagnosed with SAD (Seasonal affected Disorder) and/or BD SP (Bipolar Disorder with Seasonal Pattern). Long story short is long dark winter days are not good for my brain and mental health. This past winter I was clinically depressed. And while it sucked for me. It sucked for my wife Mandy probably more. When she applied for the job I realized that she was also partly doing it for me. We opened up our communication quite a bit the past week. I learned how awful it was for her. She felt alone. While I was physically present in the house. I was mentally and emotionally absent to my wife and children. We don’t want to have to experience that anymore. I need to stop writing now, we have to go to the airport now. I’ll have to leave it as unpolished and raw as this. Again this is only half of the story. And I would love to share the rest with when I have a chance. Money? We can always make more money. Time? Irreplaceable. Let’s find a way to get us here and you in Panama City.

Sincerely,

Justin

P.S. A quick bit about Michael being a blessing and answered prayer. one of our greatest concerns was finding a church. Michael can share a bit about how our conversation about church started and went if he wishes. At 1:30 am this morning our airline called to tell us we were getting re-booked because of an issue. We were supposed to be on a plane right now. I’m finishing this crude letter while sitting in church with Michael’s family. Our future church family.