It's been about a year since I accepted the degree of my depression. I remember lying in bed bawling my eyes out because of the state of my mind, because of the irrational thoughts I had. I remember how I wouldn't mind going to sleep and never waking up again. It was thinking about my wife and children, my parents and siblings, my extended family, friends, and neighbors. It was relationships that pulled me through and kept me alive. It was placing myself in the shoes of those I'd leave and imagining what it would feel like. It was imagining myself in the shoes of some who had and have to endure not having a their dad growing up. I got to see one recently. His dad would be so proud of him for working towards and making his childhood dreams come true. As I write this, thinking through these things again, I'm beginning to tear up a little. It breaks my heart. My heart grieves for those who have been lost to depression, lost someone to depression, or are currently dealing with depression. If you or someone you know may wish to talk to someone who may be able to relate, I'm here.
It's crazy amazing how much can change in a year.